Access Granted

As I sat with the Lord this morning, He and I discussed a situation for which I need His constant forgiveness.  It is a mindset that took root in childhood, and I cannot seem to really get a hold of it.  I am vigilant over it; I monitor my thoughts and try to take them captive before they manifest sin, but that way of thinking is so rooted in me; I truly struggle with it.  As a result, when I come to the Lord repentant, and in need of forgiveness, I feel like I am taking advantage of His grace, because I have to ask for forgiveness sometimes daily!  Surely, if I were truly repentant, I could overcome this sinful mindset, right? 

The Lord patiently listened to me as I presented my argument. Then He quietly led me to 1 John 1:9: If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins, and cleanse us from all unrighteousness.  First, He addressed the sin.  "Child (that's what He calls me)", that mindset entered in from trauma that occurred in childhood, and one of the reasons that it remains is that it brought with it shame and guilt.  You have need of understanding concerning my system of forgiveness.  If you can release the guilt and the shame regarding the mindset, you can find freedom." I became still. "Whoa", I thought.  "This is deep."  I said, "Lord, break it down." 

He said, "Renita, think of my forgiveness like a bank account with unlimited funds to which I have given you legal access.   When you go to the bank to make a withdrawal, your completion of a withdrawal slip only acknowledges that you need access to the fund.  It doesn't say a thing about your ability to access the fund; it is simply a request, right?  "That's true," I said.  He continued, "When you come to me and ask for forgiveness, it is simply an acknowledgment that you need to make a withdrawal on your 'Forgiveness Account'.  Because of Jesus' work on cross, you were given access to a completely funded account that belongs to you.  You don't need to ever worry that you won't have access or that somehow you may not qualify to receive what's in the account.  I have given you an identity through the Blood of Jesus that allows you to access what already belongs to you, whether you ever need it or not.  It never runs low, and it never rejects you.  The enemy wants to make you think that you have to qualify for access; that's the truly sinful mindset!  I am faithful (trustworthy) and just (I render what is due) to forgive (abandon all mutual claims) and to cleanse (consecrate for My use) from all unrighteousness (every violation). When you ask for forgiveness, it is simply a withdrawal slip (an acknowledgement that a need exists) that will never be rejected."  If you can first accept that you are ALREADY forgiven before you request it, you can truly deal with what is at the root of your mindset and receive the freedom that you desire.   

"Ok," I said, "what about when I need to extend forgiveness to others?" I countered.  He said, "Renita, do you know how wealthy people remain wealthy?  They remain wealthy because even if they have the cash, they borrow other people's money to fund their projects. They use their cash only as collateral to qualify for a loan, so that they don't have to use their own money on risky projects. That way they don't have to have great credit, because the bank knows if they default on the loan, cash will be available to cover the debt. You can extend forgiveness to others, because your name on the 'Forgiveness Account' guarantees that it can cover any outstanding debt that is owed.  When you extend forgiveness to others, I guarantee you that any debt that is incurred by the one that you forgive has been covered by what is available in your account.  In other words, when you forgive, it costs you nothing, because I am backing the forgiveness funds that you extend to them.  It's my loan, not yours (Proverbs 19:17)." 

Can I tell you that God's simple explanation has brought me great freedom?  Where the Spirit of the Lord is, there is LIBERTY (2 Cor 2:17)!  I am grateful to have access to an account that not only guarantees my debts, but it will cover the debts of all that is owed to me! What a mighty God we serve!  Hebrews 4:16 says that we can come BOLDLY before the throne of grace and obtain mercy, because the Blood of Jesus guarantees our access!  Amen. 

We are on His Mind 

            One of the hardest truths for us to accept is that God really does love us and that he does think about us.  David captured this ever-present question in Psalm 8: 4 when he asked, “What is man that you are mindful of him, and the son of man that you visit him?”  David looked at God’s creation, and all God had done, and wondered how He even had the time to bother with man. The real question should have been, how could God not be bothered with man?  1 John 4:8 says that God is love.  Understand that this does not mean that He chooses to love us.  He is not the image of love, He is not the idea of love, and He does not embody love.  He is love.  His being is love.  If we were able to look at God’s DNA, and interpret it, we would find nothing but love.  Isn’t that amazing?  He loves us simply because He is love.  That means we can’t be good enough to earn His love, and we cannot be bad enough to lose His love.  Hard to believe, isn’t it?   His love exists because He exists. Doesn’t it leave you awestruck to know that we are on God’s mind?  He is filled with us.  He thinks about us continuously, and He is always orchestrating the events in our lives so that we can become closer to Him.

See I have graven thee upon the palms of my hands; thy walls are

continuously before me.  Is 49:16

            There are times that I can be really forgetful. My schedule keeps me constantly going and I must continuously write things down to keep up with what comes next.  When I don’t have a piece of paper,  I have been known to write information--phone numbers, names, even recipes on my hand, so that it will be virtually impossible for me to forget the information that I need, and where I put it.  God says that we are so important to Him, that He has us engraved on the palms of His hand. Think about that!  Those who still engrave items by hand use a real diamond to cut words or designs into precious metals. A master engraver is highly skilled at his craft. He is intimately acquainted with the tools being used, and the precious metals or woods with which he works.  He carefully, painstakingly takes a nondescript item that has little or no real sustaining value, and turns it into a work of art.   In fact, an image engraved on a surface by a master engraver is unique and cannot be duplicated or counterfeited.  Imagine this:  God thinks that we are so precious to Him that he uses what we consider to be a valuable resource as a tool, to literally cut our names into his hand. In and of ourselves, we have little value in eternity, but He has taken us-- what is some would consider nondescript and of little value, and  He turned it to a work of art.  What is even more than that, he says that He has engraved us on the palm of His hand.  He did not engrave our name or our image. He engraved our being into His being. That means each of us that are hand crafted and uniquely made, so that we are easily distinguished from one another.  We cannot be duplicated or counterfeited, because the Master Engraver has fearfully and wonderfully etched us into his very life form. 

  He goes on to say in Isaiah 49 that our walls are continuously before Him.  This means that He watches carefully the works of our hands, He watches our comings and our goings; He watches our established boundaries, and He watches what we keep as treasures behind our “walls”.  Every detail of our lives is sacred to God, so much so that His eyes are trained to everything that we do, say, think or feel.  For all of us, that could be a scary prospect.  Do we really want God to be privy to our thoughts, and desires?  It really doesn’t matter, because we are engraved on the palm of His hand, nothing –absolutely nothing we can do, say, or imagine can remove us from such a treasured place in Him.  He has made it impossible for Him to forget us.  He reiterates this through Jesus’ prayer before the last supper in John 17.  Jesus prayed that those that were given to Him—those who would believe the message of the cross, would be in Him, as He was in His Father.  We are as one in Him!

What is God Saying to the Body of Christ for 2014?

Overall Theme:  It’s All New

I am making all things new, says God.  I am making new paths, new directions, and I am opening new doors.  I am positioning my people for their next move in destiny.  It is imperative that they follow my lead, and trust the way that I take them, for they have not been this way before. Corinthians 5:17; Is 43:18-19.   

·         God is giving many of us a “do-over,” so to speak. It is a season of favor. Opportunities that have you may have missed in the past may re-present themselves, and failed tests may be given again.  The old ways of approaching things will not work!  In order to get what we never had, we must do what we have never done. Old responses, behaviors, and mindsets will not work in this place.  God wants our minds to be renewed as in Romans 12:1-2:  1Therefore I urge you, brethren, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. 2And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, so that you may prove what the will of God is, that which is good and acceptable and perfect.

 

·         It’s harvest time; and a time of the double portion.  Close your eyes and get a good picture of your harvest in mind.  See the fat, healthy fruit, the greener pastures, and abundance that awaits you.  Now ask yourself this question:  Who is going to pick all of this fruit?  Any farmer will tell you the hardest part of the season is harvesting the fruit of the land.  The hours are long, the work is back-breaking, and there is only a certain amount of time to get the fruit harvested and prepared for market in order to get premium pricing.  God is placing a demand upon us to work SMARTER and HARDER. We must get into place spiritually, work our OWN fields, and stay focused on the tasks at hand.  Write the book, start the business, start the ministry, or go back to school.  It is particularly a season for entrepreneurship.  God’s favor is with you to do more, be more and have more. It is not a season of perfection; but it is a season of excellence.  We must remain fit for the Kingdom as Jesus admonishes us in Luke 9:52:  Jesus replied, "No one who puts a hand to the plow and looks back is fit for service in the kingdom of God."

 

·         We will see a changing of the guard in the Body of Christ as many of the generals of faith (and world leaders for that matter) go home to be with God or step down from their positions and new leaders in the Body emerge.  As we see this change in leadership, we will see new pattern emerge as the Church Age dies and the Kingdom Age becomes more prevalent.  We will begin to see the restoration of the Apostle and the Prophet as foundations of the church and Jesus as the chief cornerstone as stated in Ephesians 2:19-20:  Consequently, you are no longer foreigners and strangers, but fellow citizens with God’s people and also members of his household, ²⁰ built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, with Christ Jesus himself as the chief cornerstone. ²¹ In him the whole building is joined together and rises to become a holy temple in the Lord. ²² And in him you too are being built together to become a dwelling in which God lives by his Spirit.  When you see this, true revival will have begun.  

 

·         It’s a time of acceleration.  God is accelerating the time in which it would normally take to do things.  It is important that we are aware of time, and to make the most of it.  There is no time for procrastination, lollygagging, or ignoring the unction of God.  We must work while it is day (John 9:4) 

 

·         Evangelism and outreach will become the focus and the forefront. God’s hands are on ministries that supply the needs of the less fortunate, and many are being placed in business and jobs to be ambassadors in the business arena.  God is raising up bold evangelists in the tradition of John the Baptist to call the lost into right relationship with God, through ministry, technology, and social media, as exemplified in Matthew 3:1-3 Now in those days John the Baptist came, preaching in the wilderness of Judea, saying, 2"Repent, for the kingdom of heaven is at hand." 3For this is the one referred to by Isaiah the prophet when he said, "THE VOICE OF ONE CRYING IN THE WILDERNESS, 'MAKE READY THE WAY OF THE LORD, MAKE HIS PATHS STRAIGHT!”   In this same vein, we will begin to see more celebrities begin to express their commitment to Christ, whereas in the past they may have been less vocal about their faith. 

 

·         God is placing a demand on us to have healthy relationships.  We must walk away from strife, old arguments, unforgiveness, and bitterness.  Our relationships-from business to friendship, to marriage must mirror the Kingdom, and we should be working on one accord with one another.  We must be willing to let go of relationship where there is no agreement as stated in Amos 3:3: How can two walk together unless they agree?  At the same time, we must be willing to permit new people into our spheres of influence as God begins to make destiny relationships in this season.  God is also calling us into a deeper place with Him; He must be first in our lives.  Worship is the key to this deeper place. This is a season where he desires to show us “great and mighty things that we did not know” (Jeremiah 33:3). He desires to mature us as saints. The supernatural is upon us and many of us will experience Heavenly visitation at a level we have not known before.

 

·         It is a season of God’s grace.  God is with us and fighting for us as we move into this season.  Now weapon formed against us will prosper, and there are more with us than against us.  In   (1 Chr 14:13-15) when David was asking for a sign to know when to engage the Philistines in battle, God replied:  "When thou shalt hear a sound of going in the tops of the mulberry trees..." In order for David to hear this spiritual sound, He had to be in tune with the voice of the Lord.  As you pursue God for a deeper, more intimate relationship with Him, you will be sensitive to His voice and therefore know when and how to engage the enemy…and this time you will WIN!  The Lord will go before you in battle and defeat the enemy on behalf. 

 

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A Declaration of Transformation

 

 

                All of my adult life, I have longed for a faithful and committed relationship.  At first, I know that this longing was because of the brokenness of my childhood, and my need to be needed by someone.  However, as God has healed and matured me, much of what I desired and better yet why I desire it has changed.  I know longer see marriage as the be-all-end-all of adult life.  Don’t get me wrong; I believe in marriage, and I desire to be married.  However, I recognize that my desire to be married does not outweigh my desire for a fruitful ministry and business.  I am married to purpose.  There is room for one more in that marriage—but they must be married to purpose too.  I believe that one must be called to marriage as a part of purpose.  If my destiny can sustain marriage, then I would love to marry.  If purpose would be better served if I were single, I am ok with that too. It took about fifteen years to get to this place…but I am finally here.

                What I have found out in this journey to destiny, is that before I can commit my life to anyone, I must first be committed to my own personal growth and health.  I want more than a relationship; I want wholeness, and healing.  A marriage partner cannot and really should not be responsible for giving me that.  Before I (if ever) marry, I want to be transformed.  I want my mind to be clear, focused and healthy.  I want to be able to be intimate (not necessarily just sexual), open, respectful, and I want to love without restriction.  To be that I must do as Paul admonishes in Romans 12:1-2:  I must be transformed by the renewing of my mind.

 How do I do this? First, I think I must be willing to cooperate with what God is doing in my life.  I went through about a year of serious depression in 2009 and 2010.  I went to work, I taught my Sunday School classes, and I worked with the prophetic teams—but I went home every day, shut the blinds and the doors and I laid in bed with the covers over my head, praying to die.  God had closed some significant doors in my life, and I was grieving.  My grief lasted much longer than His desire for me to linger there.  It was not until I accepted His sovereignty in my life that I began to see change in my emotional state.  When I admitted that I was ticked with His decision making, God did as David celebrated in Psalm 40: He lifted me out of the slippery slopes and the miry clay.  I don’t suggest that everyone’s depression can be healed this way, but it worked for me.

Secondly, I have made some vows to myself and my purpose. I fully understand that my destiny is not on me to perform; however, I must be active in my own deliverance.  After all, faith without works is dead.  I want to share with you what I believe my role is in my transformation process.  I call them The Transformation Declarations:

I will not allow how other people love me determine how I love them.  In short, I refuse to take anything personally—even if it was meant to be a personal attack.  I expect the world to attack me; that’s their job.  However, the most pain that I have ever experienced has been because I expected to see love and instead I received evil.  Or I have given love, and received indifference or abuse.  I am not so much of a ninny that I think that people’s behavior can’t hurt me, I just refuse to hold them hostage to the offense.   I have come to realize that on any given day that anyone can be used as a vessel for good, or a tool for evil.  When the enemy of my soul sees me, he does not see me, per se; he sees either a vessel or a tool—and he means harm for either one.  When someone launches an offensive attack on me, it honestly has nothing to do with me.  It has to do with their brokenness, their shame, their guilt, and their insecurities.  They have become a tool for the enemy, and they are deceived into believing that they are out for good.  Consequently, those who are tools for the enemy have no clue that each offensive attack either exposes a weakness or a strength in me.  If it exposes a weakness, hopefully it will send me back to God to be restored and rebuilt; made stronger for the next attack.  If it exposes a strength; then God be glorified. Truly, He will use what the enemy meant for bad and turn it for my good. In either case, I win, because I am afforded the opportunity to love without agenda, or condition—kind of how Christ loves us. 

I don’t have goals to reach, I have changes to make.  I really suck at making goals.  I am really optimistic, so I tend to make goals that are unattainable, and even if they are, if I am not careful I will make the goal an idol, so that if I attain said goal, I am impressed by me; or if I don’t reach the goal, I am riddled with guilt and shame.  Instead, I have committed to trusting God’s promise over my life and to making daily changes to see that promise come to pass.  Today, I made the change of actually writing an entry for my blog, and adding an extra half mile to my daily walk.  Changes become habits; goals tend to become daydreams.  I am working towards a fulfilled life, not a to-do list full of check marks.

I will live in the present.  I have wasted a great deal of time looking at my past, raking through it, and examining it with great intent.  I have done root-cause analyses on the greater issues and made policy based on the outcome, and none of it has done a lick of good for me.  Neither has staring in to my future, rehashing prophetic words, and dreaming of the day that will come.  How many times have I said to myself, “When ____________ happens, then I will be happy?”  Listen, I believe in learning from past mistakes, and I certainly believe in having hope for the future, but neither of those activities will serve me today, and I cannot be a slave to my box of memories, or my chest full of promises. I must wake up each day, and deal with the day is it comes, and live life on life’s terms. God is not interested in my regrets, nor is He interested in my pipe dreams.  He expects me to trust His power in my life TODAY, because that is the only day to which I have access.  God obligates himself and no one else to my future because the work He does in me, will keep being done until I reach my fullness in Christ.

I want to feel everything and I want to learn how to learn from it.  Yes, I know.  Everything? Yes, everything.  The truth of the matter is, that I have spent my entire life medicating with one thing or another.  I have used food, drugs, alcohol, sex, shopping; even my shame became a salve.  I can even say that at one time, church was a medicine.  I would go on Sunday and Wednesday, get my “high”; I would jump and shout, then return to a joyless existence, really just living for the next service so that I could get my fix.  While I don’t relish the pain of a broken dream, a relationship violated, or a death of someone I love, I do want to be able to face it head on—straight, no chaser.  Then I want to develop appropriate tools—not mechanisms to deal with my pain.  I want to be able to fully connect to the people in my life who can help me celebrate and who can also stand watch for me when I break down. It’s called living life vulnerably, transparently, and it is the only way to learn real compassion, mercy, and empathy for others.

Finally, I don’t want anyone to believe that I have developed a set of pat answers to life.  I don’t think that I have.  It’s more like I am desperate.  I am desperate for the abundant life that Christ promised me, and I can’t have it if I hold on to crazy thoughts, bitter memories, and fantasy faith. None of those things are the truth.  They are compensations and poor assessments of the character of the God I that I love, serve, and call my friend.  That God is a Spirit and must be worshipped in spirit and truth, and that’s where I want to live too. That’s the place that God promises that I will live such a full life that when it is finally time for me to meet Him face-to-face, I won’t inadvertently stumble into the gates.  I will slide into them, arms outstretched and covered in life’s dust, just like a player sliding into home plate should.

A Citizen of a Different Kingdom

2Timothy 2:4  No one serving as a soldier gets involved in civilian affairs--he wants to please his commanding officer .    

    

            I have to admit that I was elated to see the election come to an end.  I have never been so embarrassed and broken-hearted by the behavior of Spirit-filled Christians from both sides of the fence.  There was petty squabbling and division; acrimoniousness and bitterness.  Some went as far to prophesy the death of America, or arugued that if I didn’t vote for their chosen candidate that I was unsaved, in error, or a heretic. The world was watching us and we utterly failed.

            As I prayed this morning for my own hurt feelings and shock over some of the mud-slinging, The Lord led me to 2 Timothy 2:4.  He reminded me that my citizenship changed on the day that I accepted Christ. My natural body is subject to the rule of the United States, but my spirit was accountable to another Commander-in-Chief: Jesus.

            The President’s job is to uphold the Constitution.  It is not to uphold the Christian agenda. “In God We Trust” only became our motto in 1956—not 1776.  Interestingly enough, that motto only appears on our money—not our Constitution. I digress.  The same laws that guarantees to me  the right to worship in the way that I choose, are the same laws that guarantee the Wiccan to have representation as a religion in the armed forces, or a gay man to teach in the public school system, or a Christian to lead the arguably the greatest nation in the world. As I sit looking at the wedding photo of my African-American sister and my Caucasian brother-in-law on my desk, I am reminded that fifty or sixty years ago it would have been against the law for them to marry in several states because of religion.

            I am a minister.  As such, I am not permitted the luxury pushing my personal opinion or agenda.  I must preach the gospel—in season and out. The God of the bible is never going to be okay with fornication, adultery, witchcraft, gay marriage, abortion or pornography or the legalization of marijuana to name some of the issues of today.  As a Christian, I believe the bible in its entirety; even the parts I don’t like. Trust me; I am not apologizing for my faith.  I believe there is one way to God, and that is through Jesus Christ.  However, if I demand that my President, senator, or other lawmaker uphold the Christian agenda, then I become the very thing I despise—a manipulator; a controller. That’s why I saw voter suppression, and other such abuses of power.  I realize now that I want a Christian President not because he will do as I say—but so that his heart might operate in wisdom (James 3:17), boldness (Proverbs 28:1) and mercy (Is 58:6-12).  I want him to be a Christian so that integrity will mean more than popularity or a controlling interest.  I want him to be a Christian so that he will uphold my right to pray in tongues; serve my church, preach the Jesus of the bible, and write this blog--even as he upholds the rights of people with whom I don't agree.

            The social ills of this world are only a manifestation of symptoms. The real issue is not abortion, pornography or anything else, for that matter. It’s the spiritual war being waged behind each of those issues.  The enemy of my soul desires for me to become entangled in political opinion and debates so that I will be distracted from my real Kingdom assignment:  making disciples, and waging spiritual war against that which is waging war against me. It’s time for me to stop blaming politicians for not curing the social ills, and to start doing the real work.  I must intentionally pray that God’s will be done on earth as it is in heaven, then I must leave the comfort of my four-walled church and do the work of the Kingdom. I must change the world one disciple at a time. That also means I must address the issues in me and in the Body of Christ instead of trying to legislate the morality of a country.  It’s hard to represent the Kingdom of Heaven if I don’t look, act, or think like its King.  This way is not as efficient as trying to control the government; but it is more effective, and it’s eternal.

            That bible that I say that I believe says that 1). That God turns the heart of the king any direction that he wants it to go (Proverbs 21:1); it says that leaders-Godly or not are raised up by God (Romans 13); and it says that I should pray for my leaders whether I like them personally or not (1 Tim 2:1-2). It also says that I must remove the log from my own eye (Matt 7:5); pray for those who spitefully use me (Luke 7:26-36); and be a light in darkness (Ephesians 5: 7-14); not so I can control the hearts of others, but so that I might shine the way towards He that saves, refines, and restores. I must stop doing church stuff, and start BEING the church for whom He’s coming back.

           

An All Sufficient God for All My Insufficiencies

Each morning, I make a pot of coffee, and I try to create enough time in my schedule to actually sit down and enjoy it.  I also try to take that time to meet with the Lord and (tongue in cheek) solve the problems of the universe.  I call that time, “Coffee with Jesus.”

                This morning, my coffee time with the Lord led me to study 2 Corinthians 12.  Although I have read and meditated upon this scripture many times, I have learned not to balk at the familiarity of the passage.  The Holy Spirit can evoke many revelations out of one scripture.  As I read, I focused on particular verse: “(9) my grace is sufficient for you.  In your weakness my strength is made perfect.”  As many may know, I am a student of words.  I like them, and the emotion or action that they may evoke.  Words were enough to create a universe, and their power is enough to destroy any relationship, opportunity, or even a nation.  In this case, the words grace, sufficient, weakness and strength stood out to me.  There, in the midst of what even Paul calls boasting;  smack-dab in the middle of a very descriptive and enviable supernatural encounter with God, was a very simple statement. When I finish recounting any celestial encounters, my favored opportunities, or even my moral failures there is but one thing left: the sufficiency of a loving and kind God.

                The word grace literally means “loving kindness”, “benefit”, or “favor”.  “Loving kindness” is defined in the Greek by the word “agape”, which is also love; but it is the most deliberate and selfless love there is—the God kind of love. God’s unconditional love is what prompted Him to create a world for man to inhabit, dominate, and become fruitful in and multiply.  It is that same love that compelled Him to send a savior in Christ to rescue man when he so epically failed in his attempt at independence.  It is the love that John describes in 1 John 4 when he writes that “God is love.” God is not facsimile of love, He is not a type of love, nor is He the embodiment of love.  Quite simply, yet complexly-- He is love.  His very being is love.  If I took a glass and filled it with God’s love, the content of the glass would not be love—the glass itself would become love.  David explained it well in Psalms 63:3:  “Your love is better than life”.  The mere fact that I inhale and exhale is evidence of God’s love.  Do you know what that verse really says to me?  It says that I cannot be good enough to earn God’s love, and I can’t be bad enough to lose it. His love is, because He is.  I need a minute to pause and think about that.

 His love is sufficient; it is enough. It is satisfying. Back in Psalms 63, David said that God's love sated him like rich food.  So God’s love is like mom’s mac and cheese, pancakes on Saturday morning, or Sunday pot roast with potatoes and carrots.  It’s the comfort that I am looking for when I stand in the refrigerator staring restlessly, because I want only the one thing that will end my craving.  When I finally meet God in the secrecy of my closet; or even in the single mindedness of worship in the sanctuary I am finally full, content, drowsy-eyed, and warm, because I finally got what I long for deep in my spirit. I receive from Him a sense of well-being and surety despite what the circumstances of my life may otherwise indicate. Nothing else can compensate.  That’s why when I sought to satisfy my flesh with food, sex, power, pornography, or work; I was left hungry, irritated, weak and feeling foolish.  Eventually—usually through trial and error, I found that only He can give me peace.

                 Weakness is the feebleness and infirmity I feel when I expend all my energy trying to prove to God how much I don’t need Him.  Oddly enough, it is the fear of being weak that drives me to assert my independence in the first place.  It’s funny how although I know that nothing but God will do, I must often try my own remedies first.  That whole concept is laughable because it is only in my feebleness that I receive God’s strength. When Paul writes about God’s strength, He is speaking of God’s power in the midst my circumstances.  That’s the power that moved to create a universe. It fuels the strength of angels. It is the power that raised a dead Jesus, and it is the power that works in me through the Holy Spirit.  I mature in God only when the circumstances of life overwhelm me. It is then and only then that when I learn to find contentment in the fact that no matter what comes or goes, no matter what I suffer through or lose, God’s love never fails me.  I am never alone, and I am never left behind.   The all-sufficient God is always enough for all of my insufficiencies.